Where did the time go? What happened to July? Did I miss a memo, specifically the one announcing the arrival of August? Soon it will be September, which hast thirty days, along with April, June, and November. I use the word hast often. I'm proud to live in a country that hast a word for the archaic second person singular of the word have.
That first paragraph was just filler. I pay myself by the word. It's a tax thing, like a shelter, but more shady. Maybe this isn't the best forum to talk about my finances. I am currently involved in some pyramid schemes. One scenario involves me distracting the guards with one liners, while a friend driving a fork lift steals a pyramid. What a scheme! Once I used a fork lift to lift a fork. It's not as easy as it sounds, but exactly as stupid as it sounds.
Lets dispense with the unpleasantries and get right to the self promotion. On Wednesday, August 20, at 10:30 PM, I will be appearing on a new episode of Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, on Comedy Central. If you are reading this after August 20, try to find a repeat. If that doesn't work, give up.
What else is in the news? I wish Brian Williams would open with that every night. There's so much going on I don't know where to start. I'm really looking forward to ______________! It's shaping up to be quite an event.
If you're planning to spend the day at andykindler.com, why not visit our popular Event Planning page? Enjoy a complimentary virtual soft drink. Voted #1 thing to click on by Website Magazine.
Love,
Andy Kindler
I love Website Magazine. I wish they had an online version.
Posted by: Kurt | August 20, 2008 at 06:54 AM
Website Magazine is published using a mimeograph machine. See? I tried to top you, but your joke is funnier.
Posted by: Andy Kindler | August 20, 2008 at 03:18 PM
Why, of all the cities in Texas, did you happen to mention Lubbock Texas? That is random. What is the tie and if there is a tie can I hang myself with it? But seriously...Why Lubbock? I reside here and have never seen you come through.
Posted by: David Slama | August 24, 2008 at 07:32 AM
I saw you on "Root of All Evil". I especially love your rants on the world being ruled by lions. "Not groovy, man!"
Posted by: J. R. Spumkin | September 20, 2008 at 05:01 PM
Please disregard that, Mr. Kindler. I confused you for someone else. Anyways, I love your joke on Dane Cook, definiately agree with you, and like everyone else on the show, I love you on Root of All Evil.
I got your name mixed up with Andy Daly (two Andy's, sorry), and I apologize.
Posted by: J. R. Spumkin | September 20, 2008 at 05:16 PM
We're all looking forward to your NY shows Thanksgiving weekend. I'm undecided which night to go, do you plan on being funnier Friday or Saturday?
Posted by: Evan Clealand | September 25, 2008 at 11:12 AM
Loved your show at the arena in Sacramento! Who would have thought that you could get that many elephants into the center of that place- who, who needs jokes when you can train animals to do that!?! It was a shame though with that fire after the first set- I hope you're feeling better and on the mend!
Posted by: JP | September 30, 2008 at 11:50 PM